...What It Feels Like For a Girl

Last year in the UK,

• 46,000 women were raped
• 867,000 were victims of domestic violence

The British have a reputation of being very polite, formal and traditional. Unfortunately wrapped in their notion of tradition are very strict and quite frankly outdated ideas about women and men. These outdated attitudes state that men are carnal and unable to control themselves in the presence of a woman. It has been this reason alone that many a man has been acquitted for rape because the women was wearing a provocative outfit and therefore obviously wanted a man to ravish her. Or she was flirting with the man earlier so it's hard to believe that she wasn't interested in having sex with him later. Its attitudes like these that essentially lead to men being acquitted of rape and many a women being blamed for being - well, women.

Case in point, a family member of my mine was raped by her boyfriend. She took him to court and during the trial, the focus seemed to be the fact that she was wearing a really short skirt at the time. They even focused on the fact that her mother has several children by different men. Despite the pictures of the bruises on her face and the reports from the gynecologist who saw her after her attack, the entire incident was chalked up to being a domestic "tiff" which would be better sorted out by the couple in private then by the courts.

This nonchalant attitude is not limited to the rape perpetrated by a husband or boyfriend. It is also applied to other domestic violence situations. A year ago while spending the night at my then boyfriend's flat, I was awoken by two people screaming at each other. This was not the first time that I had heard them arguing before so I tried to go back to sleep. However as I closed my eyes again, I heard a loud and distinct slap followed by screaming and the sounds of someone being dragged across the ground.

I immediately jumped out of bed and called 999. The cops arrived about 10 minutes later. They went upstairs and brought the couple outside. I assumed that they were going to arrest the guy or at least tell him that he needs to sleep somewhere else for the evening. My then boyfriend asked if anything was going to happen to the guy and the cop responded that they just had a bit of a "tiff" and that it wasn't anything to worry about! So again, a women being dragged by her hair across the floor by her boyfriend is looked at as a tiff. Not an assault. If he was a stranger, perhaps he would have been arrested for assault, as he should have been. But because he was her boyfriend, they refused to do anything.

Unfortunately stats and stories like these, make one not want to contact the authorities if they are either raped or assaulted by a loved one. However, that is not the attitude to take. Silence only empowers the people who perpetrated the crime.  Although it is difficult to get a conviction for either rape or domestic violence, it can and does happen.  The latest statistics show that the number of domestic violence convictions is increasing and of the rape cases that go to trial, 34% result in conviction.  The UK has a long way to go but there is progress being made.

Source: Times Online, Women's Aid